Dedicated to My Furry Friend

My cat has had a rough week. Once again her mean owner has upset her routine. She has had to move four times in the last five years. And after being around all of the time, her owner is mysteriously not around for longet periods. Plus she is longer consistently being let outside by the owner. What is a cat to do?

Up until I was 35 years old, I had never had a real pet. I’ve had fish and hamsters and stuff. But, a cat is quite a bit different. Cats are aware of what is going on, they do not understand it but they are aware. People say cats are aloof and in some ways they are. But truth is my cat is always glad to see me when I come home. And when she decides to show me affection it is sweet and unreserved.

I wish I would have gotten a pet sooner. I think it would have helped me when I was feeling bad at times. When you have a pet around, you are never alone. And sometimes when your cat just does something randomly weird and funny. It is a nice laugh and it breaks the bad chain of thoughts you were having.

And this morning as I was petting my feline friend, looking at her as she curled into a ball, with her eyes closed. Feeling the vibrations of her purrs, I couldn’t help but be thankful. She still loves me, and she never holds a grudge for long.

Ok enough is enough… I am done. Have a good friday.

Talent

So last night I participated in a jam. My band and I went out there and performed three songs. It was fun. A good way to get our new lineups feet wet. Get are names out there to the public. But I couldn’t help but notice how talented most of the participant’s in the jam were. It made me think of just how talented people are in general. I spent a lot of time learning how to play guitar and I am good at it. But, I am certainly not the only one.

And it makes me happy. I wish people were more willing to share there talents. I have to start getting ready to go to work so bye for now.

Bias

Ahh bias… that fun little monkey that we carry around with us everywhere. Cutting to the quick, making decisions without all of the information in. Oh yes, we do this. A lot. I think that when I am at my most mentally agile is when I stay away from bias as much as possible. Why do kids learn so much faster, no previous crap to get in the way.

I think calmness and being free of bias are interrelated. Bias is an outreach of impatience maybe. Social psychologists talk about Fluid vs. Crystal Intelligence. Fluid means that ideas are changing, crystallized is that all your decisions basically follow a pre-determined path.

Let things follow through you and around you. Try not to push at things around you.

Big Star, Sci-Fi And Life

I didn’t expect to suddenly start writing a big/ strange sci-fi story. I know it is a far cry from the more the reflective stuff I have been writing. A muse is a weird thing. I try not to think too much. i try to let me instincts lead me.

I hope you are enjoying the weird yarn I am spinning thus far. I am trying to pull a plot together in my mind. I have several disparate Ideas that I want to include. The trick is to find a cohesive narrative to link them all together.

Last night I watched a documentary about a band call Big Star. They are a cult classic. I had never really heard of them though. Music is a strange mistress. There is always more out there to find. Big Star is richly melodic, almost syrupy yet melancholy. I have not heard enough to work out a strong impression yet.

My life seems to be moving in the right direction at the moment. However, that can always change. I am trying more and more not to look ahead. I am just trying to be in the now.

More psychobabble… 🙂 Would it surprise any of you to know that I had a psyche minor? I am guessing not.

Later

Computer Knowledge

I have forgotten just how little people know about computers. It has been awhile since I have worked with ordinary end users. Usually, I deal with other people that know computers and know the techno babble that we speak.

It is easy to confuse folks. That is for sure.

The Calm Instead Of The Storm

Calm. Being relaxed, flexible and open. When I am calm I am at my best. One of the reasons why I love music and tennis as much as I do is because I can get totally immersed in it. When I am really into my music that is all I am doing. I am not thinking about anything beyond the moment. I am IN the moment.

The ability to be open. To feel free to ask questions without worrying about what other people think. The ability to absorb what is happening in the moment and still make decisions with a clear mind.

I think that calmness, rather than confidence is what I am aspiring towards. I run into to problems when I lose patience. I begin to push towards an outcome. If I can stay calm, keep a clear head and take the slow steps to reach a positive outcome things will be better,

I am kind of one of those aha big idea/ realization moments type person. I chip away at a thought or an idea bit by bit. This confidence/calmness idea still is not completely formed. But by sharing these bits of it with you all it helps me organize while i am piecing it together.

Hopefully, whatever it is that I am working towards will be something meaningful and engaging. Of course, that decision is out of my hands. It is you as the reader who decides.

Confidence Vs Arrogance

Truth be told I am not the most confident guy in the world. It is not that I think I am untalented. I definitely have things I know that I am good at: Computers, Tennis and Music are among them. However, I also am aware of what I don’t know.

To me arrogance is a bluff. It is pretending that you have no insecurity about things. Or worse yet it is you being too stupid to realize your own flaws. But let’s be realistic about this people respond to confidence. How do you project an aura of confidence without crossing the line towards arrogance?

This is something that I continue to struggle with. People don’t like false modesty either. And people don’t real understand when you give yourself an objective analysis. Like for instance I can say something this is my best recording yet however, it could still use blah blah blah.

When people hear me say something like this the assumption seems to be that what I am saying that what I have made is crap. Truth be told, nothing that I have ever went to the effort to show the public is crap. If I truly thought it was crap I would have given up on the project long ago.

I am not a natural salesman. I hate trying to manipulate people. But if I could project more confidence I know it would at very least help me with my career.

i don’t have that gunslinger/hotshot mentality. I am not here to battle wills with you. I don’t care about which one of us has the bigger dick. I would rather be the mentor or the guide. Maybe I can help point you into a new direction. I certainly am not going to judge you if you are not as far along on your voyage of discovery as I am.

A Painting

Here is a photo slice of one of my paintings

Stress And Thank You

So toady was a little bit stressful. Not majorly stressful. Not life or death stressful. Continuing minor annoyances kind of stressful. I am not the best at managing stress at times.

A lot of factors creep into this. The biggest one is sleep. Being well rested and relaxed makes everything better. This morning i woke up tired and stayed tired all day. Another big thing is circumstances. If you have a lot of things that you have to manage at once you tend to get a little stressed.  This morning it was encountering an unexpected stretch of road construction. Thus forcing me to deviate from my favored driving path to and from work.

But everything worked out in the end and I was able to handle the stresses of the day. There have been times where I haven’t managed it so well. This makes me human I guess. As much as I aspire to be as good as I can be there is always room for improvement.

Yesterday I had my highest number of blog readers thus far!! Thanks for reading. I hope that you guys continue to come back.

Modern World

Trying to capture a Lou Reed New York type vibe with this one. Pretty good song in it’s own right.